Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
