areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
