2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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