on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Can you bring me the toilet please
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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