Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
