why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i black out too much to be "responsible"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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