yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
