so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize