That's intense
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
