Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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