I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
