Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
