Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
