Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
