Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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