Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
