I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
