I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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