I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
