I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
