You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
A bitchslap is in order.
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