he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize