I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
