Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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