Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
