It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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