Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
