How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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