Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
