I just saw a hot homeless man
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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