I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
