so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
