my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
