Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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