Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
