That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
