dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
