Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
