in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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