Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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