the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
