Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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