You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize