ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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