goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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