Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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