Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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