I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
