Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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