ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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