I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
