rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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