I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
