hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
