Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and she was petting her beer can
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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