you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
