i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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