You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
