my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I AM VODKA MAN
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize