belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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