my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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