...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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