sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
