I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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