honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
