I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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