He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
what the fuck happened to the tacos
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
